Ya’ll, putting my business out there for the whole world is no small venture. It leaves me open and vulnerable. Let’s just say I had to confirm through prayer a few times that this is what I was called to do. I’m in awe of what happens when you realize your story is not just for you. As I have shared my story I have met people who have a similar story, people who were hurting and needed encouragement, or simply people who wanted to meet a person who didn’t just want to share and show the highlights. Sharing my story did not always come easy for me. For a long time, I carried guilt and shame. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for me (I still don’t). I didn’t want anybody to view me differently. Then I realized, I was becoming a prisoner of my story. I was allowing the traumatic experiences to rob me again. I remember feeling like damaged goods, like no one could love me. My self-esteem and my self-worth plummeted. During some of my darkest moments at home, I came alive at school. I never let my grades dropped, always had a smile, loved making people laugh (I still do), but I was dying on the inside.
My story is not unique, but it is my story. Looking back on it, and even looking back on recent days, years, months, I know it was God who kept me. Romans 8:28, has become my favorite verse. It is with this verse that I use my story for God’s glory. The NIV says “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose.”
If I wrote my story would I change some things, ABSOLUTELY. Was it all fun and games, heck no! But God. He kept me in my right mind, made me feel loved when I didn’t think I could be loved, healed my brokenness when I thought I was beyond repair. He took my sorrows and gave hope for my tomorrows. Now keep in mind, I am still on the hot mess express some days, but I know Who I am, I know Whose I am, and I know who carried me through. So here I am sharing my story, in hopes that you will be encouraged and that you will know that you are not alone.